The Gina Spot

The last few days have been interesting.  Lee and I have been fascinated with the number of old people on this cruise.  When we embarked on the ship, we caught a glimpse of several with walkers, and a few with IV drips.  But being here over the last few days, we’ve had a chance to observe the entire landscape of the boat, and we’ve determined that the median age of Cruisies is roughly 60 – which even takes into account the multitudes of children that are running around.

The Sea Geezers, as I’ve come to call them, are a special breed of Cruisie.  They’ve been on several cruises and enjoy rolling their little scooters up to the poker table where they will post up for hours, spending their retirement funds on hand after hand.  They’re also very aggressive in the buffet lines, where they become scrappy over pieces of bacon and “good looking sandwiches.”  I’ve nearly been taken out by Sea Geezers on wheels, although I’m never in competition for those items (given that I hate the buffet, and there’s nothing there worth killing anyone’s great grandfather over)

We spend most of our time in the adults only section, lounging in one of the hot tubs while waving at one of the servers to fetch us drinks.  Not a bad life.

And just so that everyone is clear, I’m NOT on the famed Sewer Cruise.  Thank God.

We’re still at sea.  If you’ve never been on a cruise before, walking around feels like you’re on an airplane that is experiencing slight turbulence – or heavy turbulence, depending on how rough and choppy things are.  This has been a choppy trip thus far, and I find myself walking like I’m drunk (even though most of the time I’m not).

Lee, who was in the Navy, is devoid of sympathy and keeps reminding me that he took a cruise for several years.  Pfft.

So far, the bane of Lee’s existence is the PA system.  Every so many minutes in the morning, there is an announcement that Bingo is starting, or that everyone should meet in the deck for some sort of activity that we’re not planning to participate in.  All of these announcements interrupt Lee’s slumber, which is a problem.  Have I mentioned that he put the Lee in Sleep?

The bane of my existence?  The buffet!  I protested yesterday when I could no longer take eating a variation of the same food for the third meal.  Lee likes it because he could eat leftovers every single day, and it’s easy to grab.  I hate it because I’m somewhat particular and abhor foraging for my food unless I’m grocery shopping and about to cook.  We’re committed to higher quality signature restaurants for the remainder of the trip.   Which will keep me away from the ice cream machine and dessert selection.  I’m sure that Lee will pout at some point and convince me to revisit the buffet.  I’m sure I’ll cave in.

We jumped in the hot tub with a couple from Minnesota and a family from Brazil.  We were happy to see each other because it’s nice to find more young adults on this trip.  We were fortunate enough to choose the cruise that is comprised of 1) a group of grammar school students, and 2) an elderly group of farmers/fertilizer salesmen (no, I’m not kidding).  I’m not sure which group is more annoying.  I’m not partial to the sound of screaming children, nor do I care for moving behind a herd of slow almost-retired people from South Dakota and Nebraska.

The good news is that this ship is SO large that we’ve yet to see the same people twice.

Also?  The people on this trip LOVE to gamble.  The casinos are clogged at any time of day with people catching “the fever” on the roulette wheel, and cautious gamblers who are spending hours at the $0.05 slot machines.  I’d generally prefer to keep my money in my pocket, but the blackjack table is beckoning.  Almost as loudly as the ice cream machine.  One of them is going to make me its bitch before this trip is over.

We tried our first signature restaurant for dinner last night.  Oddly we chose a steakhouse.  Even though neither of us partake in red meat, steakhouses usually feature amazing seafood.  This one didn’t disappoint.  But the cool thing is that if you order a bottle of wine and don’t finish it, you can either have them save it for you, or carry the remainder around the ship with you.  I preferred to take it with, and walk about the boat like a wino who could take a swig at any moment.  Cause that’s how I roll.

In search of more young people, we dropped off our bottle in the cabin (to add to our growing collection of alcohol) and proceeded to Bliss, the onboard nightclub.  It was a fun extravaganza of people watching.  The Cruisies crowded the dance floor when Gangnam Style was played, fist-pumping and seizing. (What I would love?  Is if we translated that horrific song from Korean to English and determined that the lyrics were something like “I’m cashing in on you stupid Americans and your lack of musical taste.”)  We were perplexed by the unfortunate 21-year-old black guy with the white man’s overbite.  We were also taken with the older man (whom Lee dubbed Ricardo Montalban) who was clearly outpartying his significantly younger date, and singing along with We Found Love in a Hopeless Place like he was getting paid.

All the while, Lee was critiquing the DJ (surprise, surprise).  The verdict is that he had pretty good blends, even though his top 40 selection was for shit.

Today?  More hot-tubbing, laying out, poolside drinking, laziness, and Second City!