The Gina Spot

I’m flip-flopping this week.  Most of the Chicks are writing about their experiences on Iyanla, but for some reason I decided to write about being a cool girl.  If you’ve stumbled across my blog today, this is what I owe you . . .

If you follow us, you’ve probably seen the “Fix My Backstabbing” friends episode of “Iyanla Fix My Life” that debuted on the OWN Network on October 6th.  If not, and if interested, you can watch enough clips on the website to get a good idea of what you missed.

I have to admit that before the airing I was a tangle of nerves.  For several reasons.

First, because I’ve seen people falter in the spotlight.  Funny thing, that spotlight.  Everyone wants to be the face on which the light shines, but few understand that with the glory comes much scrutiny — which is the piece that gives me anxiety.  I am the antithesis of Zondra, who was seemingly born to be there, and shrugs off her criticism with a smile and a shrug.   On Fix My Life, all of us had at least a little bit of bad behavior — with the exception of Yanni, probably.  While I didn’t love the concept of being made the poster children of mean girls, I remained hopeful that the audience would watch our dysfunctional interactions and like us anyway.

Some did; some didn’t.

Our supporters have been nothing short of amazing, and we are very appreciative of the kind sentiments and well wishes. But I have to admit that I got the biggest kick out of our critics.

I did the thing that you’re not supposed to do when you’ve appeared on TV. I delved into the message boards to see what people were writing.  What I learned was that, as mean as we could be?  The message board members are far more caustic.   There’s a lot of freedom of speech when you’re sitting idly at home, in your PJs, computer in lap, with the ability to espouse your raw opinion.

I loved how our natures could be encapsulated in one (typically poorly constructed and grammatically atrocious) sentence.

For example, I became “The one in orange who thinks she’s better than everyone else and won’t cry.”   (That sentence is 2/3 correct.  I was indeed wearing orange, and I rarely cry, if ever.  It’s just not my tendency.  I’m usually too busy analyzing to cry.  For the record, I don’t think I’m “better than everyone else,” but there are certain things that I simply refuse to argue about.)  I received direct messages from people who felt the need to tell me that I’m emotionless and have “ice in my veins.” (Again, only partially accurate.  The BF says that I do have emotion — although it’s usually anger.  Also?  At least half of my blood is a proprietary blend pinot noir and zinfandel [Red, not white!  How dare you?], which has a warming factor and counters the iciness.) 

But I digress . . .

All in all, I have to say that the Iyanla experience was a good one.  Some of my fellow chicks came away from our show with mantras to live by. While I appreciate the affirmations, my value was in getting to know what makes everyone tick, and learning how to accept my five co-horts for who they are and embrace our individual and collective idiosyncracies.

My second bit of nervousness had to do with timing.

I’ve been working on launching a digital publishing company, Enemy Books, for the better part of a year. Along the way, I decided that Brown Sugar, written by the Six Brown Chicks had to be re-edited and would be the perfect first release on the EB imprint, and could coincide with the air date of Fix My Backstabbing Friends.

Ummm . . . what was I thinking?  I don’t think I’ve ever been more of a Murphy’s Law victim.  Ever.  The fact that I didn’t become addicted to mood-altering drugs is nothing short of amazing.  But . . . the book is out as a sneak peek for IPAD USERS ONLY. More formats to be released when the technology decides to cooperate.

In case you missed the last bit of the episode, I will stress that we are still together as a group and moving forward.  We’re blogging for the moment, but we’re crossing our fingers that there’s more to come.

First, thanks to everyone who tuned in to OWN and watched the teaser last night.  We didn’t know what to expect, and quite frankly still don’t.  When our episode of Fix My Life airs (whenever that is), I’m sure that there will be things that the six of us have forgotten we’ve said, and hopefully we can laugh at those things collectively (Because what is comedy, if not tragedy plus time? My trouble is that I find humor in many things before enough time has passed.  What?  We all have our strengths!).

If you missed it, and have a burning desire to see it –>  check this link for the entire episode: http://xfinitytv.comcast.net/tv/Oprah-s-Lifeclass/172715/2274715999/Terrible-Things-Women-Do-to-Each-Other/videos

We’re on very briefly!  But Oprah mentions us, which is very humbling for us.  Let us know what you think!

If you know me, or have been following my other blog, you might know that I’m a part of Six Brown Chicks   The quick story is that Six Brown Chicks is a group of women who originally joined forces in early 2011 to provide daily content to our collective blog on ChicagoNow.  A few weeks after the blog began, we were approached by WCIU to do a talk show to be aired online.  The format was kind of like The View, but there were six of us.  We taped several shows . . . and then we imploded (which tends to happen among a group of six black women).  I could go into more detail, but that’s the gist.

Zondra Hughes, our creator, was particularly upset by our implosion and wrote into the OWN Network to submit our story to the Iyanla Vanzant “Fix My Life” show.  They found us to be interesting (who knew?), so we got the original band back together and taped an intense episode of the show with Iyanla.  The entire point of our appearance on the show was to foster healing among the group so that we can move forward and operate as an entity.

Whether or not the healing worked remains to be seen.  I will encourage you to stay tuned.

In the meantime, this evening (Sunday, September 2nd) at 9:00 EST/8:00 CST, the topic of Oprah’s Lifeclass show is “Women Who Do Terrible Things to Each Other.”  Iyanla will be joining her for this episode.  It is with mixed feelings that I announce that the clip of our show will run during this show.  (Because, apparently we’re mean girls and our content is appropriate.)

Zondra and Yanni were present at the taping of this particular episode, and the MOST exciting piece for us is that Lady O herself mentioned Six Brown Chicks, and even alluded to having watched us herself.

I don’t know when our episode of Fix My Life will air, but I think the indecision has something to do with the fact that Iyanla also taped an episode with Chad “Ochocinco” Johnson and Evelyn Lozada — his Basketball Wife bride — prior to the head-butting episode that prompted her divorce filing mere weeks after their nuptials.  I’m certain that their episode will air before ours, because, really?  As fucked up as WE are, I’m thrilled to take a backseat to people who are clearly more scandalous.

Not that I’m a fan of Basketball Wives (in fact, I’m hoping that dear Evelyn is on her 14th minute and 59th second), or Ocho’s antics (nor do I really care), but this should be an interesting episode because I know from experience that Iyanla really tries to get to the heart of most matters, and if she did as I predict, the audience will be privy to a lot of interpersonal stuff that we wouldn’t normally see.

I can’t help but be slightly nervous about the release of our hour-long episode.  The format is reality tv-esque.  We haven’t seen the edited version, and won’t have that opportunity before the rest of the world views it.  As individuals, the six of us have extremely strong personalities and none of us were quiet during the taping.  Many cried.  It will be interesting to see how we’re portrayed, although I can tell you that if you’re hoping to see cat fights or anyone overturning tables in anger, you’ll need to tune into a different show.  I will also reveal that I’m the stoic dry-eyed one (which will be a big shock for those who know me well).

That said, either tune into OWN this evening, or watch online if you’re interested in seeing a clip, and follow me on Twitter for live tweets during the show, and for the air date of our episode.