The Gina Spot

I have to admit that I’m tired of writing about race relations, but I’ve promised myself that every single day that I encounter something new, I will consider it a teachable moment for anyone who might want to learn.  For those who are, indeed, interested in learning, my topic of the day is the implications of commonly used sayings and phrases that are straight out of the playbook.  Specifically, the racist playbook.

First, let me explain where I’m coming from.

Remember that old Bruce Willis film, The Sixth Sense, where the young Haley Joel Osment claims to see dead people?  He sees them everywhere, and they only see what they want to see without the realization that they’re actually dead.  At the end [spoiler alert], Malcolm Crow, the Bruce Willis character, discovers that he’s been dead all along, and it’s a very emotional scene.   We’ve all seen that, right?

So . . . I’ve observed striking similarities in some racists.  They’re the Malcolm Crow of racists, and they don’t think they’re racists, and in fact, they roam the earth with the full belief that they’re accepting of all variations of people . . . until something slips out and they play their hands.

No worries, though, because I’m here to help.  If you’ve ever said any item on the list below, you might be an unintentional covert racist.  For the record, I’ve heard or read each one of these in the past seven days.

1. “I don’t see color.”  C’mon now . . . yes, you do.  And you absolutely should.  Seeing no color, as you claim, means that you also don’t see discrimination.  In order to be a true anti-racist — if that’s your goal — you need to see it all so that you can defend against it.  When people say that they don’t see color, I immediately take that to mean that they don’t care to be bothered with anything that comes along with being a person of color.  Which is . . .what?  That’s right.  Racist.
2. “All Lives Matter.”  So . . . here’s the deal.  Black people think that white lives matter too.  But the problem is that the sentiment is often not returned, and ALL lives aren’t endangered. Saying All Lives Matter in the wake of so many blatant and unpunished infractions against Black people is like going to the funeral of a friend’s child, and announcing that All Children Matter.  Well, of course they do, but we’re mourning the loss of one specific child today.  Comparing your vibrant and healthy child to one that’s been tragically killed is horribly insensitive.  Don’t you agree?
3. “If you don’t like it, you can always leave the country.”  And go where, idiot?  I’m American.  So, your suggestion is that I find another home, because I don’t enjoy receiving poor treatment in a country where I pay taxes?  How about you help figure out a way that every citizen of this country feels good about being a US passport holder?  If you merely enjoy basking in your own comfort without concerning yourself with the mistreatment of others, sorry, but that makes you a racist.  And an asshole.
4. Referring to Black people as “Blacks” or “the Blacks.”  Trump didn’t create this speech pattern, although he is expert at it.   Saying things like “I never met Blacks before,” is a) kind of stupid, and b) removes the human element.  “I’ve never met a Black person” is not only more grammatically correct, but also FAR more respectful and humanizing.  Using an article in front of a group, e.g. “the Blacks,” “the gays,” etc., puts distance in between oneself and that group.  They are “other,” and typically anyone who refers to “the Blacks” isn’t doing so in a complimentary way.  Again, racist.
5. “Why are we protesting the police when Black people are killing each other anyway?  Seems counterproductive.”  This was a direct quote from a woman who, after my response, now wishes that she had never positioned her fingers on the keyboard to type those words.  Suffice it to say that this one burns me, because what she’s really saying is “They’re just going to kill each other anyway, so the police might as well do it, too.”   Not only does that make zero sense, but it’s also incredibly rude and born of the erroneous belief that “we’re all the same.”  The Black-on-Black crime argument is a white supremacist distraction tactic that has a solid foundation of unintelligence and attempts to take the attention away from the real issues.  Let’s break it down in a way that might make sense.  While most crimes against Black people are committed by Black people, most crimes against white people are committed by . . . who?  That’s right! White people!  Criminals exist in every culture, and they’re going to prey on the closest victim.  But let’s not focus on the criminals, because I don’t care to consort with them either.  Let’s also not focus on Black-on-Black crime.  I vote to simply consider it just plain crime.  If we’re going to differentiate,  let’s focus on the subsets that are rarely brought to justice: White-on-Black crime and especially Blue-on-Black crime, perpetrated by the very people who have been hired to protect and to serve.  When police behavior is indiscernible from criminal behavior, we should ALL realize that there’s a faulty process in place.   #systemicracism
6. “If they followed instructions, maybe they wouldn’t get killed.”  Where do I start?  Well . . . Breonna Taylor was sleeping in her own home.  Also, most of the people who have been shot and killed by police were either committing petty crimes that shouldn’t have warranted drawn guns, or doing absolutely nothing wrong.  George Floyd was suspected of passing a fake $20 bill, didn’t resist arrest, and was STILL killed when he should have merely been questioned.  Rayshard Brooks was drunk.  Have you ever known a drunk person who followed instructions? (That’s right . . . think back to last weekend)  Granted, he shouldn’t have been drunk driving, but according to MADD, each day 300,000 people drive drunk.  Imagine if they were all killed.  And why resist arrest?  So, have you SEEN what cops do to Black people who are under arrest?  WHO would sign up for that?  Especially a drunk person.  If you are the sober person in the situation, and a member of law enforcement, it is YOUR JOB to de-escalate the situation and make sure that EVERYONE is safe.  (I touched on this in the previous blog.  I feel like I’m starting to repeat myself, but apparently repetition is necessary in this case)
7. “Blue Lives Matter.”  We don’t have anything to discuss.  At least nothing you want to hear.

Once again, I hope that helps.  Maybe one day I’ll get back to ranting about cooking utensils, crowded parties and people who insist on hugging without permission.  Until then, I’ll be getting on everyone’s nerves with these posts until we see true reform.  There’s an unsubscribe button here, somewhere . . .   #youvebeenwarned

Twice in a month from me.  Don’t pass out.  There’s a lot to discuss.

As I posted on Facebook earlier this week, I’m not my typical snarky humorous self . . . because I’m not really in the mood.  I’ve been toiling over this blog for DAYS, which is unlike me, and I’m forcing myself to finish it today, on Juneteenth.

People are funny, in their suggestions and expectations.  Someone approached me recently, pointing out that my posts have been  heavy, and suggesting that I infuse  more “light-hearted energy.”  My knee-jerk reaction was to say something like “Bitch, I’m not Bozo.  Look at the world around you! You’re tired of hearing about racism?  Well, I don’t care, because I’m tired of experiencing it.”

I refrained, although I wish I hadn’t.

At a time when everyone should be bonding together against a common enemy (COVID-19), we’re dealing with a messy tangle of anger and unrest, which led me to think about privilege.

Privilege is a term that we throw around to the point where it’s lost its original meaning, or the meaning has become secondary to the term itself, if that makes sense.

To be clear, to have privilege – specifically white privilege, for purposes of this post – doesn’t mean that your life isn’t hard; it means that your skin color isn’t the source of your hardship.

Privilege means that you can spend a great deal of time focusing on your success, if you so choose, without having your productivity overshadowed by thoughts of how you’ll be perceived or that you will be underestimated before one word exits your mouth.  Or not even having to consider that the conversation would be different if you weren’t present among your otherwise homogeneous group of colleagues.

Privilege also means that the most uncouth, embarrassing ugly American (white) can travel freely to any country with the feeling that everyone there will be so happy to have him, as long as he’s spending the mighty US dollar.  In the meantime, a natural part of my vacation planning – before booking a flight — is research, and asking friends and Google whether or not my desired destination is safe for black people.

Privilege means that you don’t have to spend a lot of time thinking about how simply going about the course of your day, and casually finding yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time could get you into a stupid racially-charged argument, at minimum, or potentially killed.

Privilege means going through life without the realization or recognition of the fact that racism is actually a white person’s problem.  White people created it, and it’s going to take white people to get rid of it — once they pay attention to it.

And, white privilege can be defined as the white person’s ability to look at the Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd murders, or even incidents with people like Amy Cooper — alias Central Park Karen, and the stupid woman who called the cops to report a man stenciling Black Lives Matter on his OWN HOUSE, without seeing him/herself in those situations.

Every single altercation and murder has been very personal to me.  I could have been Breonna Taylor,  shot dead in my home.  I could have been Sandra Bland. I could be any of the departed, murdered in the street by an egomaniacal cop (likely one whose previous documented use of excessive force has gone unpunished) who has decided that he should be judge, jury, and executioner for a crime that I didn’t commit — because he operates with the (societally-supported) assumption that my life does not matter.  I can imagine the desperation that each victim must have felt — that their lives were dependent on the whims of a psycho with a badge, and there’s not a damned thing that anyone can or will do about it.  Dying wasn’t on the agenda for the day, yet here they are.

Despite the “compliments” I’ve received from white people over the years (“you’re not black black, you’re white black” [WHAT?] or “you outclass yourself” [HUNH??]), at the end of the day (or at the beginning of the day), I’m just a random black person in the eyes of white strangers and most important, law enforcement, regardless of how much education I have, or what I happen to be doing.

But I believe in the Universe and cosmic connections and it’s no accident that this is 2020, the year of perfect vision and hindsight. It’s only fitting that we start to see this situation in a new light, create real change and perhaps begin the dismantling of an entire judicial system that’s been in place since we were regarded as 3/5 of a person.

And I’ll tell you what . . . I’m sick to DEATH of hearing the argument “if they follow instructions, they wouldn’t have been shot.”  So . . . WHY would anyone blindly follow the instructions of people they don’t trust and have NEVER been able to trust?  Also?  The majority of the people who have been shot and killed by police weren’t committing crimes.  So, their crime was maybe resisting arrest for resisting arrest?  You get that doesn’t make sense, right?

I’m also sick of the black-on-black crime argument because it’s used by racists as a distraction from the real issue.

Let’s not forget that the job of a police officer is to de-escalate a situation and apprehend a suspect.  The fifth amendment of the constitution tells us that no citizen shall be deprived of “life, liberty, or property without the due process of law.”  This means that Officer Asshole is not entitled to be judge, jury, and executioner for a person who’s crossing a street, selling loose cigarettes, going five miles over the speed limit, or any other petty crime that has been the catalyst for killing a black person in recent years.

You cannot stand for the flag while ignoring the constitution.

Now, before I completely digress, let’s get back to the pandemic, which has been pushed to the side since the George Floyd murder.  While everyone’s protesting unprotected, and returning to their lives of carefree gathering, hugging and handshaking, the Coronavirus infections and fatalities continue, and I’m sure we’ll be quarantined again within the next month.

So, throughout all of this, I guess I’m curious about how everyone is dealing with this.

If you take everything that’s going on, and layer on all of the other lifey-life shit (money, family, career, relationships), while removing the ability for joy, it’s truly a recipe for a mental breakdown. Without friends, gathering, movie theater nights, or social experiences to alleviate the general sadness, our spirits can become really dark.

I would like for us to remember that there’s only so much we can take, and encourage us all to take breaks when and wherever we’re able.  It’s going to get harder before it gets better.